A dear friend (I’ll call her Dee) and I agreed to talk by phone this past Saturday morning. From the moment we met nine months ago in a workshop on coaching, we have consistently had intensely personal conversations. But, this day, I was in a funk so I was planning on just giving her a rundown of my Did-Do list from the past two months (since the time we last talked) and hearing what she’s been up to.

I started the conversation by talking about InvisibleLives.com and my recent journey of bringing this blog on line. When it was clear it was time to transition to the next topic, Dee said in her sweetest voice, “I have a question that I hope will be okay to ask you.”

“Of course,” I replied, assuming that she was going to ask me about some aspect of my journey to blogdom.

She courageously and wisely went for the million-dollar question, “Are you invisible right now?”

Not expecting THAT question, I did a silent Homer Simpson “Doh!.” My heart skipped a beat (maybe two), my spine stiffened, and my chest froze.  I momentarily panicked, wondering What do I do now? Do I play it off? Do I confess? Ugh. Here I am talking about being more visible in my life, and I’m playing the invisibility card again. Damn it. I’ve been caught.

I paused for a moment, found my courage, set aside my internal conflict, and made my confession, “Yes. I’m invisible right now.”

Eureka! In that moment, my chest began to melt and my spine began to relax. The uneasiness that had been present in our conversation began to dissipate. The shackles of invisibility and shame began to lift.

Our conversation continued its mystical transformation as Dee held a safe space for me to be real with her and I gave myself permission to be real. We never got back to either of our Did-Do lists. Instead, we talked about our relationship and we savored the intimacy of our conversation for the remainder of our time on the phone.

Dee’s courageous question and my willingness to respond honestly transformed our conversation.

Here are some questions for you to ponder, write about in a journal, or post as a Comment:

• Under what circumstances do you hide your true self?
• What are the signals that you are hiding?
• What does it take for you to come out from behind the veil of invisibility?
• What might happen if you were to ask yourself throughout the day, “Am I being invisible right now?”

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